I once read that in order to function at our best, people should perform activities that engage both the right and left hemispheres of the brain. I don’t think it meant that we needed to do both at the same time (like the stories we’ve all heard of surgeons who have music playing in the OR suite as they operate…or is that a Hollywood tale?), rather that we should be sure to have hobbies and creative interests that are different from the work we do daily. The right hemisphere of the brain generally controls our “creativity”, while the left is concerned with all things logical and rational. Clearly, the brain is far more complicated than that, but in general terms I believe this is the accepted thinking.

D and I have been here in France about ten days now, having both arrived a little crispy, very tired, and mostly running on fumes, for numerous reasons. Like all the other Gen X people that I know, I am now two decades away from my university days when I was full of life and ready to take on the world, maybe even change it for the better. However, having worked in a decidedly left-brain job for all these years, I’m taking stock of life and my gains and losses. The only thing I know for sure is that my nerdy, naive optimism has given way to reality—I have not changed the world, not even a little bit!

It’s hard not to feel disappointed by life and be filled with regrets for choices made and choices not made when you hit this age. It’s like you have lived so many years that you feel it’s time to evaluate, but not so many that you feel hopeless. In many ways, life has not turned out the way I had expected it would, though it has also surprised me in ways I could never have anticipated. I never did get a Master’s degree, but I know now that even if I had, I probably would not have used in any way that was interesting or useful to me. Disappointment, but perhaps also, surprisingly, a blessing.

Returning to my right-brain/left-brain blurb, I have noticed that I’m feeling more energized and less crispy over the last few days. Of course, this is to be expected because isn’t that the reason people go on holiday? We structured this chunk of time to be much like life at home in Ottawa, except away from the snow, freezing rain, and ice. That is to say, we planned to live in our rental apartment, get some sleep, shop at the markets and cook at home, visit some museums and go on a few day trips, catch up on reading. My hope is that I would return home at the end of all this, feeling restored and ready to take on whatever life has next in store for me (something I learned in 2019 is that we cannot know what is waiting for us around the corner, so it’s best to be prepared and also flexible, which is really much easier said than done).

To my great surprise, I am feeling better a lot faster than I had expected I would. My theory is that since the day we arrived in France, I have been presented with endless right-brain/left-brain stimulation, whereas in my normal life I mostly engage in left brain activity like work, work, and work. I don’t even go to the movies anymore at home because I can’t be bothered, yet we managed to hit the cinema here in Nîmes on day six.

So, in the course of several day trips, we have found some Roman ruins, visited some historical sites dating to the Middle ages, and explored old medieval walled villages so charming and lovely that I’ve mentally purchased several properties and started decorating them with furniture and décor that I have found at a few brocantes and flea markets that we have visited. See? Right brain and left brain engaged at the same time! My imagination has never been so active.

Even our (almost) daily visit to the market to purchase dinner ingredients is an exercise that forces me to use both brain hemispheres. Speaking French is an endless job for me as it is not my native language, so interacting with the vendors involves a lot of concentration (not to mention the fact everyone has an accent unfamiliar to me, and they use phrases and terms not necessarily common in Canada). The creative part happens when we return home and I have to think of something to do with all of the produce we bought.

One thing I have been doing daily is an exercise I read about in a book called, “The Artist’s Way”, by Julia Cameron. It’s a book for artists (I am not an artist) to help them work through creative blocks. In it, she describes an activity called “morning pages”, where you write three full pages first thing in the morning, of the absolute train-of-thought things that live in our brains. The idea is that taking all of those useless thoughts that take up room and use up energy, and moving them from the brain onto paper clears space to make you more open to useful ideas and inspiration. I was not looking for a creative unblocking when reading this book, just seeking new ways to change my often unhelpful circular thinking about work and life in general. I do recommend “morning pages” writing, though. If nothing else, it feels like a daily accomplishment. I might be needing this vacation, but that doesn’t mean I can fully stop being “me” who needs to have a purpose and a mental ‘to do’ list every single day!

Thanks for reading.